(no subject)

so, there was this girl at work who absolutely hated me (most likely because i didn't kiss her ass constantly like the other employees do), and supposedly once said "kevin should just quit, because i will do anything, even lie, to get him fired." last week, she made a customer a burrito, and instead of ringing him up, she just put his money in the tip jar. a fellow employee told her that he was going to report her to the owner, and normally she would have just gotten a slap on the wrist, but she made the slight mistake of telling the guy that she would have her commonlaw husband (who would immediately get deported should he ever get in trouble with the law) MURDER him if he told on her. but he did anyway. and she got fired. and it makes me remarkably more happy with my job. and now we will see if anyone winds up dead.
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bloodshot eyes and separated thighs..

last week, one of my aunts asked me for my new address. today, a package came for me in the mail. when i opened it, i quickly realized that i had been sent half of a nativity scene. i had no idea to do with such religious icons, so i put them in the liquor cabinet. and now mary, joseph, and the baby jesus are guarding and watching over the triple sec, creme de menth, and the captain morgans, respectively.
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jess fee made me miss livejournal.

maybe it's time for a comeback. but most likely i will revisit livejournal with the same amount of effort i put into everything lately, and just not update for another 44 weeks. i'm distracted all the time. people tell me that when i talk to them, i am always looking around at other things, like i'm expecting something better to happen at any second. i work around 65 hours a week now, but it's probably not to blame for my restlesness. most of the time i think i am content to just drift through my life. but i'm almost tired of wasting my potential. i wish i had the determination and strive to match my ability. wouldn't that be nice. i wish i had my heart back. and it's not even an issue of "woe is me, past loves, heartache, iusedtobeonmedsbecauseofafuckinggirrrrl, crap crap crap"...it's more like i just outgrew its usefulness. i just don't have the heart for anything anymore. yet i'm still happier than at almost any other point in my life. this last summer being the pinnacle. it was probably because of the 50 pounds i lost. and the fake arrogance it inspired. maybe it was the road trip to washington state that for the second time in my life made me believe in fate. either way, joy is turning into contentment. i just hope contentment doesn't turn into blehhhh. i'm watching Daredevil at 1:17 in the morning. and livejournal makes me remember a whole cast of odd characters from my past. i should write a fucking book. everyone at work tells me so. even the old lady who brings me cut up pears every day. i got a good 1% of what i was trying to say into this entry. good enough, i say.
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    nasal decongestant

like the man with the collection plate about to sin, baby you took more than you put in.

i talked to my agent today, and by the end of the week he is going to write something up about me and start advertising me to colleges, clubs, and a couple different talent agencies. he seems fairly confident that he can get me shows. and i don't come cheap, either. he's going to tell people that i am $250 for 20 minutes, $500 for 45 minutes. doing one show a month would be way more than i need to pay my bills. and i'll finally have money in the bank. and i won't have to worry about paying rent
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    goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

please, bury me with it

overall, a good weekend. desiree and julie were here, and i am glad that i can talk to them about shit that's going on. especially the shit that just unfolded on friday. it's funny...i am soooo fucking incredibly mad about what happened. but at the same time, i find it hard to hold a grudge. even though i could KILL. but yeah. desiree brought the blanket she made for me, so that was cheery and fantastic. and we went to the cushing st. party, and i drank a lot of rum, and danced, and met rad new people. and it was spectacular having julie and desiree around. even colleen hung out with us! and my costume: a definite success. many compliments. even though i had my pants off a lot of the time.

i have been called intimidating because of my funnyness a lot lately.
i have been called a "god" onstage by three different girls. who don't even know each other.
over the summer, a girl told people that she dated me, when we did not.
once, a girl told me that i was her personal idol.
on thursday, a girl i do not know said that i was amazing, and that she "wanted to BE me." exact quote.
sometimes when i walk downtown, random people stop me and quote things that i said onstage.
once, an old lady told me that i made her laugh so hard that her cheeks hurt.

the life of a comedian is amusing.

p.s.s. tomorrow will be an interesting day, you creep. i can't fucking wait to see how you justify the shit you did.
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